1. A normal friend never asks you for food. An Argentinean friend is the reason you’re putting dinner together.
2. A normal friend asks, “How are you doing?” when he sees you. An Argentinean friend hugs and kisses you, saying “Look at you, you son of a bitch, you look so amazing!”
3. A normal friend may not have seen you cry. An Argentinean friend has cried with you a dozen times.
4. A normal friend sends you flowers and a card when you’re at the hospital. An Argentinean friend goes to see you and falls asleep on a chair next to your bed.
5. A normal friend will borrow something and give it back to you in a couple of days. An Argentinean friend borrows something and forgets in a week that it doesn’t belong to him. He will never return it and you will never ask for it.
6. A normal friend offers you her couch to sleep on. An Argentinean friend gives you her bed while she sleeps on the floor next to you, keeping you up all night talking.
7. A normal friend knows some stuff about you. An Argentinean friend could write a book with all the things you have told her.
8. A normal friend brings you store-bought medicine when you’re sick. An Argentinean friend makes chicken soup and brings all the homemade remedies her grandmother taught her.
9. A normal friend knocks at your door. An Argentinean friend opens the door and happily yells, “I’m here!”
10. A normal friend asks if you could please make her coffee. An Argentinean friend goes straight to the kitchen, helping herself to the coffeemaker and asking your neighbor for sugar if you don’t have any.
11. A normal friend plans a visit a week ahead of time and asks for a confirmation. An Argentinean friend calls anytime and says, “I’ll start cooking in five minutes, bring the vino.”
12. When you visit a normal friend at his office, he introduces you using your first and last name. An Argentinean friend says, “Man, this dude is my bro.”
13. If you’re going through hard times, a normal friend tells you, “I didn’t call you before because I wanted to give you your space.” An Argentinean friend calls every hour saying, “Boludo, let me know what you need.”
14. A normal friend could be a friend for some time. An Argentinean friend will be your friend for life.
15. A normal friend will ignore this post. An Argentinean friend will pass it along to all of his friends, because he is super proud of being AN ARGENTINEAN FRIEND.
Note: This piece, originally written in Spanish, has been a recent meme on Facebook and elsewhere on the internet. We’ve tried, unsuccessfully, to find its author. If anyone knows her, please let us know.